Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust: Observing Funeral Rites for Customer Service

Shall we please have a moment of silence? In fact let’s stand with our hands behind our backs and bow our heads. I would ask you to close your eyes but then you couldn’t read on. So keep them open but look extra solemn. Let’s all appear grave at the grave of our dearly departed. Even as we stand around the tomb we can remember the prior existence of this entity. This might be hard to do but you will understand why in a minute. Since this is not an unmarked grave and your eyes are open you are allowed to look at his/her name. Male or female? That doesn’t matter. It is actually a gender neutral concept, best known in English as Customer Service.

Customer Service is dead in Ghana. According to reports it died at various locations. The most popular suggestions are a restaurant, a road-side chop bar, a police station, a hospital, bank and office. Irrespective of where it died, the death of Customer Service made the situation stink.

If you want an image to aid your thinking, next time you pass by a rubbish dump inhale deeply.


**Thanks to Kojo Akoto Boateng of Ultimate Radio 106.9 for this picture**

There has been more than enough complaining on the issue so I won’t expatiate on this. Rather I would like to focus on the causes of this problem.

1. Part of the problem appears to result from a generational clash within the context of the modern and the traditional. Typical Ghanaian socio-cultural systems attach a significant amount of respect to age. While this is not a bad thing in itself, it becomes problematic if someone is expected to serve or attend to a younger person.

2. There are also people who never envisioned themselves getting a job and are therefore unable to function normally in their positions. Unfortunately their confusion spills over to affect innocent customers.

3. Again, there are those who use foul means to gain employment. While most males under this category offer a cash bribe, their female counterparts offer up their bodies as a living sacrifice, definitely unholy but pleasing only to the lascivious fellow who demands it. They therefore attach a sense of entitlement to their work and feel like the client owes them something.

4. There is, moreover, this attitude among some people who behave as if getting a job is the destination and not the beginning. Before they get the job there is meticulous preparation. Some attend church with the seriousness of Cristiano Ronaldo at training. They will pray and fast where necessary. If the Pastor prophesies jobs during a sermon, they shout the loudest amen. Don’t blame them; their economic situation is dire and any means to get the job is the right means. There is however an ECG-like disconnection between their anxiety to dislodge the ‘un’ from their unemployment status and the apathy with which they work.

5. There are some people who conflate personal problems with their duties at work. The most popular of these take out their marital stress on poor customers.

6. And of course there are the plain lazy and useless folks who feel like the world owes them for hustling to get to where they have reached.

So next time you suffer from a lack of Customer Service try to figure out which of these number the rude or incompetent person deserves.

Ok, so back to the service at hand. As the pall bearers lower the coffin into the grave, the top accidentally plunks off and to our shock (if we are shocked at all) the coffin is empty! You mean Customer Service never even existed in Ghana?

Suggested Solutions to follow in due course.


About Kwabena

Career Student
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18 Responses to Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust: Observing Funeral Rites for Customer Service

  1. Bogus Girl says:

    Makes very interesting reading. I however think in some sectors Customer Service exists. It is just anaemic. I like your style of writing by the way 🙂

    • Kwabena says:

      Medaase 😉
      And I agree. It might be a fair thing to give credit to places where we have Customer Service. If it’s on life support too we will have to think about it in that sense.

  2. amma says:

    too much, oooh great your first paragraph… and i was going to give you a reply that it never existed when you said customer service is dead in GH.
    I LIKE how you did it at the end.
    your writing is peaking.

  3. David says:

    Good Reading……The only places customer service is functioning is in a few privately owned institutions who know that their profits depends on the customers they service. As for they rest hmmmm we are celebrating memorial services, Customer Service died loooooong ago.

  4. awura abena says:

    Very good read. There’s a school of thought that says that when the owner of the business is around, the customer service is almost always better. Because it is this person who knows how they struggled to get the business going. If the business is left in the hands of so-called sales people and customer service reps, hmm! Great piece :).

    • Kwabena says:

      Thanks 😀 And you are right. It’s as if these culprits feel like they do not own the place. Or maybe it’s a question of letting these owners motivate them better.

  5. Ritz says:

    On point! Most companies have also not found the need for regular staff training to enhance their skills in their various roles. It is assumed that you learn on the job and automatically you become better with age, even without additional training every now and then.
    You have summed it all up perfectly…Nice one, I enjoyed reading!

  6. kofilarbi30 says:

    “As the pall bearers lower the coffin into the grave, the top accidentally plunks off and to our shock (if we are shocked at all) the coffin is empty! You mean Customer Service never even existed in Ghana?” wow!
    i actually had a moment of silence in de beginning. writing in tip top shape.. hard hitting and reflective!

  7. Eva says:

    Woow! awesome article!
    It gets me wondering what’s taught at employee training sessions. But then again when i think about our entire educational system i imagine these sessions are mainly theoretical leaving people tapping their feet and dozing off all through until its time for item 13 (refreshments) where they fully and joyously participate!
    And there appears to be no sanctions for those who err in delivering good customer service. Guess its because the keepers of the rule books are the worse offenders!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Interesting bro…epiphanic!

  9. Anonymous says:

    interesting topic and beautiful writing!…i also heard that it died at the courts and at some law

  10. Anonymous says:

    Its a beautiful piece n insightful as well. u good

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